Oh! get out and vote!!! vote vote vote! Lick bush in 2003, 2004, and evermore!

In the early SKA blog, posts somehow are misplaced, lost, something and I’m a little concerned. Still, I will continue and hope they turn up… nice to have the hassle-free side if it.

As I load my free-speech bong, the thought of elections slips away… and in it’s place is wonder.

Behold, the question at hand comes in two parts: If a man travelling from Virginia Beach, VA. to Seattle WA. leaves on a Saturday with a full tank of gas (he drives a g/e hybrid) and makes the 3500 mile trip in 2.5 days does he:

a: rediscover the delight of Fritos in a convenience store?

b: find that he was really missing something in trailer park life, and cancels his westerly trip to take up with a new Arkansas trailer park wife?

c: come up with a revolutionary new way to extract muscle enhancing enzymes from the sphincter of a bull elephant.

d: moves to Florida to join a southern baptist congregation and participate in the great white lie.

e: ponders the square root of 69

f: none of the above

g: a and b


As he leaves VA beach, our traveler has a premonition of his trip taking a turn for the worst were he to travel directly south so all roads in that direction are verboten! so he heads north by north west. arriving in S. Dakota he finds that mount Rushmore was nothing more than a bunch of old dead presidents carved into a hillside and not the hottest rave this side of Berlin. However he stumbles upon a gay couple in the throes of passion there in the monument park and much to his surprise the position the two lads were in gave him a unique idea that he immediately set to paper as soon as he got back to the car. He mails the paper with his amazing idea back to the zoo then moves back to the highway. Taking the two hits of ecstasy he had saved from a few weeks before he drives on and wanders into a deep contemplative state. However, when he got back to the road, he did not pay close attention to the direction he was travelling and before he knew it was at the Florida border. Not that he would have seen the other southern states before he got there — it was just coming into morning as nervously exited the expressway and took the Tallahassee expressway back toward Arkansas… By now he needed gas and spotted a station with an attractive brunette attendant. At the risk of running out of fuel, he accelerates heads straight past the death-trap and moves to a lighter, safer and more sane territory… the sun comes out, the clouds clear up, and out traveler is in the home stretch when he comes into a revelation — he had just finished eating when someone asked him if they knew the route to the ninth street square. Before he could answer a waitress chimed in. “oh honey, you just take this street here, this is sixth street over to T street, then left onto ninth” she turns to our traveler “can I take your order honey?” He replies “no thanks, I just ate something” Pays his tab and heads back on the road. With all the hunger left by that long journey now satiated, he begins to think back to that gay couple getting it on in the Mt Rushmore park… slowly it came to him: 3 plus 3 is 6… 3 plus 6 is nine… 6 and 9 are 69…

A siren… “damn, highway patrol”

“good day, can I see your license and registration please” comes from behind a pair of mirrored glasses “are you aware that you were travelling 14 mph over the speed limit? I clocked you going 69 back there” The officer’s southern drawl was out of place for Idaho, and gave cause for concern to our traveler. As the officer stepped away to write a ticket, a memory flashed: “the route to the ninth street square…8, 6, 3, 9, something…”

“IT’S 8 SOMETHING!!!” He shouts as loud as he can, the officer looks up to see the traveler excited in his car –returns to writing the ticket then goes and asks “is there a problem?”

“Not anymore! You see I work for the Capitol Zoo and am heading to Seattle to assist with some scientific research in pacycuziform enzyme research, my trip has been interesting to say the least but I think my stay will be cut short since I just solved the researcher’s problem.”

In the lecture lab, he details a revolutionary new way to extract pacycuziform enzyme from the sphincter of a bull elephant with examples equations and diagrams… “you see I discovered this in the eyes of the great discoverer Benjamin Franklin at mount Rushmore, as two amorous men were in the throes of passion with each other, I noticed the act of pleasure smothering causes one to pass gas. In essence, were you to sit on the elephants face, the creature might become disturbed, however if he likes you then issue may arise and doctors can capture the gasses for all their medical needs”

The correct answer is F